Clear English rewrite

The Driving Standards Agency, which runs driving tests, launched a huge consultation exercise aimed at updating learning to drive. The paper was drafted by experts in driving, not writing, and needed to be made accessible by anyone taking an interest. Here’s an excerpt of the before and after versions…

Before

Past research has shown that a substantial number of prospective motorcyclists never qualify beyond a provisional stage. This problem has been ameliorated by the requirement for riders of motorcycles or mopeds to undertake Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) before they ride unsupervised on the road. Nonetheless, inexperienced riders remain at risk. Many cyclists never pass more than the provisional test, although the mandatory Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) before riding on the road has made this less dangerous. However, inexperienced riders are at the most risk.

After

Many cyclists never pass more than the provisional test, although the mandatory Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) before riding on the road has made this less dangerous. However, inexperienced riders are at the most risk.

Before

Approximately 185,000 CBT certificates are issued each year, three times the number passing a motorcycle test. This suggests many motorcycle riders are not taking their training through to a final test, and may be riding without their skills having been validated by an examiner. Every year, the DSA issues about 185,000 CBT certificates, but only about 60,000 motorcyclists pass a test. This suggests many riders are not taking the final test and are on the roads without passing any kind of examination.

After

Every year, the DSA issues about 185,000 CBT certificates, but only about 60,000 motorcyclists pass a test. This suggests many riders are not taking the final test and are on the roads without passing any kind of examination.

Before

Casualty statistics indicate that young riders are a vulnerable category of motorcyclist.  However, rider casualties are not just a matter of youth or inexperience.  They are also affected by people taking up motorcycling at a mature age, and returning to motorcycling holding a full licence but riding machines that have much quicker speed and acceleration than the machines with which they were previously familiar. Young riders are vulnerable (see table 7.2), but risk is about more than youth and inexperience. Older riders who return to motorcycling with a full licence may not be used to the more powerful modern machines.

After

Young riders are vulnerable (see table 7.2), but risk is about more than youth and inexperience. Older riders who return to motorcycling with a full licence may not be used to the more powerful modern machines.

Before

More than any other category of road users, motorcyclists remain at risk regardless of their age, although older users are vulnerable to different types of accidents. Consequently, any attempt to reduce motorcycle casualties has to focus on providing training for young and old road users.

After

Motorcyclists face the most risks regardless of their age, although older users in general are vulnerable. Training has to deal with all age groups.

Before

Carelessness, recklessness and hurrying are contributory factors to 11% of motorcycle accidents; inexperience contributes to 9%; and excessive speed to another 8%. This indicates that basic attitudinal and motivational issues, such as speed and risk-taking, are critical for improving safety for this group of vehicle users too. Carelessness, recklessness and haste are contributory factors to 11% of motorcycle accidents; inexperience contributes to 9%; and excessive speed to another 8%. This indicates that attitude and motivation, affecting speed and risk-taking, must be tackled.

After

Carelessness, recklessness and haste are contributory factors to 11% of motorcycle accidents; inexperience contributes to 9%; and excessive speed to another 8%. This indicates that attitude and motivation, affecting speed and risk-taking, must be tackled.

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