… and this is me

I’m a freelance copywriter, PR, producer based in the East Midlands.
Amongst my many talents, there are:
  • DVD writing and production
  • Conference and speech scripts
  • Brochures and magazines
  • Copywriting
  • Website copy and management
  • Press office and media handling
  • VIP and event handling
  • Media training
  • Crisis management
  • Press releases
Email me for more information

Three months. Not good, but kind of inevitable.

.. since my last post. But I’m back now, anyway.

I’ve put up some clips on YouTube from a indie sitcom pilot I did a long time ago in a universe far far away.

It’s an innuendo happy Jane Austen/Henry Fielding-esque romp, which my co-writer, Peter Thornhill directed, and I produced, call Sedgefield Park. We raised the money in a very complicated and clever scheme from one of EM Media’s predecessors, EMMI, and used it as a calling card. So this is the first time it’s been put before an adoring public.

The three YouTube clips are Pig Whispering, Wedding Bells, and Bush Trimming, and Tearstained Letters.

Or they’re here:

The wimpish Mr Nancy confronts his old adversary Major Boner:

Meanwhile, the Squire’s two handymen, Perkins and Grummock, show off their talent for ‘pig whispering’, encouraging Mr Nancy’s recalcitrant boar Percy to romance his own prize sow, Twinkie.

While Mr Nancy’s genteel intended, Jane assess Major Boner’s charms…

And Mr Nancy spies on their courting:


I’m brilliant, it’s official

… according to David Morrissey anyway. And, moreover, the Nottingham Evening Post.

This was the upshot of the Rocliffe Forum reading which was part of the Broadway’s Screenlit Festival in Nottingham.

I entered a ten minute extract about a homeless detective, and together with two others, it was worked up in about an hour and half into a script-in-hand rehearsed reading sort of thing by the fab Susan Jacobson, from Pistachio Productions, with the actors who were also all fantastic, particularly the two leads, Aaron Smith and Lauren Carse.

Yes, I know this is an outbreak of loveyness but it is warranted.

Then I got interviewed by David Morrissey. That David Morrissey, who said some very nice things including that my dialogue was ‘brilliant’, and did Q and A with the audience. My ego was thoroughly gorged.

Now I’ve just got to finish the bloody script. Email me if you’re a producer, commissioner or have money and you’d like to see it.

Euroscript if you want to

I got shortlisted for the Euroscript story competition thingy. I don’t think they’ve got a proper, slick, branding type name for it. Anyhow, you put in a treatment, sample, etc. and the top few get taken under Euroscript’s wing. Which is nice.

In the meantime, I get a script report from them, which is interesting because I’ve never had a formal one before, just feedback from producers during development. It said a lot of nice things, some criticisms which are probably valid, and then hit on the basic problem with treatments: they noted the absence of detail about large chunks of the plot. Yes, that’s because it’s a two page treatment, as per the competition rules.

Anyhow, I’ll hear back from them soon.

Online writing. OMFG.

Online writing. Yay. It’s free, there’s no barriers to entry, there’s no barriers to readers (save the little matter of internet access, and who hasn’t got that, right?), and its edgy cutting-edgeness of edgiosity on the edgability is so, like edgy, yeah? Kewlio.

Well, no. Not if you want to get paid. You’re either writing upmarket adverts, like Kate Modern (not that adverts need compromise your drama, just in case Neil Mossey‘s reading) etc. or you’re, apparently, a grooming teenagers for Da Man:

I am paid to post comments and send emails in the characters’ voices to the personal pages of people I don’t know, a form of legitimised grooming. This is one of the big worries about social networking sites. I wonder whether I am on shaky ground and what the boundaries are because what I am doing is starting relationships and everyone knows they are two-way. So as the lead gets a love interest, I deal with many young girls demanding acronym answers to the great questions of life and love. Another part of this writing gig, it seems, is being manipulated by 11-year-olds daily.

This is from a piece posted on 12 Point, the online successor to Scriptwriter magazine (for which I’ve written and been paid by, I’ll have you know), by a 38 British woman whose job is pretending to be fictitious characters online, salaried – SALARIED – by a big American studio.

So this is how you make a living out of the brave new online world… I’ve been a reporter, a government spindoctor and now I’m a freelance PR, and even I find this a bit, well, yucky.

Or, like me, you keep doing basically old fashioned copywriting that just happens to end up on websites. You can read more about it here. That’s a call to action, btw.

NB (1) 12-Point. I’ve linked to it but it’s a pay site, so unless you’re already a member you probably won’t be able to read the full piece. However it’s a good site for UK screenwriters, and you should sign up.

Organized chaos. Or organised chaos.

As AGMs for voluntary bodies go, it was short and sweet, with only two motions going to the vote. We became a limited company, brought in a new constitution, changed the members’ rules, and had a wide a ranging discussion on long term funding.

The motions we voted on were:

  • to change the spelling of ‘organize’ to an ‘s’ from a ‘z’. This sparked a lively debate on the US versus the UK etymology of the word.
  • to change the spelling of ‘qorum’. This was a typo, and uncontroversial.

The organisation in question is a collective of about 80 writers. It employs a co-ordinator who has to organise/organize. It’s the Nottingham Writers Studio.

Forgive me, I have no idea where the apostrophe goes so I’ve left it out.

Back On The Chain Gang

I’ve got Back On The Chain Gang playing in my head, and not just because it’s pretty much the first week back working. I’ve been learning it on the fab Indie Telecaster I bought about a month ago and its jangliness is sticking.


Anyway, good news from the BBC. Looks like I’ve got some sketches on Radio Four’s ‘Recorded For Training Purposes’ show (actually that link’s to the last series), which did an open call in November. One’s been recorded already and the others are being done anytime.


No idea about the broadcast date though. I’m only a writer.